All of the things. [Numbers, too..]

It's April... my other favourite month. No shortage of excitement, things are turning green, seeds are sprouting. And in a few days, I'll be turning 33. It's a big milestone for me. It's also 11x3. If you know me and my things with the numbers, well... then you know. It's a thing.

2018 is also 'year five' in my 'every five years' cycle. 2013 was the last huge year for me. Abundance of awesomeness, lots of travel, and many life lessons learned [and friends made!]. 5 years before that, two thousand eight, was the year I backpacked across the country. Also and incredibly moving, life-changing experience. This year has been living up to the hype so far in many ways. Big things, and lots of changes.

The journey I'm on this year is one I've only ever dreamt of, and it's still hard to believe it's come true. The journey 'Home'. I've always been so naturally transient, I didn't think I'd ever become comfortable with the idea of laying down some roots. It might not be permanent [although it's really looking like a potential thing], but it's a pretty good representation of how I want to live my life.

It was just over a year ago that we moved here, but it wasn't until recently that we learned this place can be somewhat of a long-term home base. We can have animals, and we can make necessary changes to the property to maximize it's usefulness. Plus we're close enough to the heart of development to get to work, yet enough out of the way that we'll [hopefully] be bypassed by the whole ordeal. And there's certainly something to be said for that view..

So yeah, April. So far this month we've [finally] planted, started building a rabbit hutch and a goat pen, started working part-time on the 'big farm', and I somehow managed to become a board member for the local farmer's market. Excitement! These are all opportunities to re-localize, to not have to go so far as often to fulfill our earthly needs.

We also won't have to work so hard to keep our tiny homestead in order, or pay so much for soil amendments. The rabbits eat the grass in their rabbit tractor, while providing the grass itself and the gardens with on-demand fertilizer for a majority of the year. That's been a huge bonus this spring with the sudden lushness. And when the goats arrive, they'll take care of the brush and bramble- and drop some pellets for the compost pile.

I'm stoked for this year. I might not be the one traveling, but I'm super excited for those who are. And I finally have a place to call home to invite them to! And I'll get to play tour-guide in this place I chose to call home. There's so many beautiful little tucked away places with incredible views that I've happened upon both in my travels and for work, and I'm excited to share them!

With recent shifts in our routines, and a very lengthy lacking in our financial standings, the health journey is a bit of a struggle at the moment, but I'm not giving up. I can't always afford the onslaught of natural supplements that I've been using to help me heal, and the ones I could be producing myself I don't currently have the time or facilities to do so- though I'm steadily shifting in that direction. Kombucha is my next mission. I would love to brew my own. Once I get caught up on loot, everything after will be reinvested into tools needed for becoming more self-sufficient.

I've kind of fallen off the writing again too. Too much going on and not enough time to write about it. Really, I need to prioritize re-managing my time. Which sums up to basically needing 'places for things'..everything being better organized will help to make better use of our time. For instance, when the rabbit hutch is [finally!] built, we'll both regain several hours of our week not cleaning out their temporary setup. Not very efficient for long-term use. It's been too long.

I thought that the biggest hurdle I need to get over this year is my financial situation. It's not that great. All the things that happened this past 6 months with my job situation have put me in a tight spot. But when I was walking down the gravel farm road looking over at the mountains, enjoying the setting sun warming my back I realized something. Being in a better financial situation would be great, yes. And I'm working on it. But I think the lesson to be learned here is to not let my anxiety about it ruin every other aspect of my life.

Anxiety is a hell of a thing. Even wen everything is okay, it likes to sneak in and rip your stomach lining to shreds, and keep you awake at night with a hamster wheel from hell. I have a horrible habit of literally worrying myself sick. Some say they wouldn't know it to see me, as I seem so apparently 'chill'. Because I am, for the most part. I rarely express my worries outwardly for a reflexive fear of being mistaken as 'weak'. I'm becoming more conscious in my behaviour, as I have been dramatically relieved of many stresses and anxiety by moving out to the country. Now that all the sensory overload anxiety is out of the way, I have a chance to address the root of the problem. I have an opportunity to learn to breathe [again].

 xo

Thoughts become reality- Love Your F*cking Life.

You really never know when your number will be up. Last week we lost a good friend, someone who reminded us all with every waking moment of his existence, something so critically important we must embrace it every day- Love Your Fucking Life.

This is post number 3 in my Thoughts become reality series, and probably won't be my last. In my first post titled Make a list, I covered how listing is a good first step in 'mind manifestation'. What you think about is often what you 'attract' into your life, and if you make a list of wants it gives you a base point for visualization. In post number two titled Never stop dreaming I went into further detail about visualization, and 'what to do next' once you get to where you want to be.

I've titled this post 'Love Your Fucking Life' firstly to honour our friend, and also because it's probably the absolute best way I could possibly express the most important thing that needs be discussed when it comes to 'mind manifestation'... and that's Gratitude.

No matter how 'shitty' your life may seem to be at the moment, no matter the struggles you might be going through, there is always something to be grateful for. If you spend every waking moment being upset or angry about the tumultuous situation you might be in, chances are, all you'll get from that is more turmoil. Find that one thing, that ray of sunshine, that smile from a stranger, a hug from a child, that fresh cool breeze and say: thank you.

Something incredible happens when you shift from 'I do not want this' to 'thank you'. Your energy shifts, your attitude changes, and the universe around you responds. Hold on to that gratitude as you move forward into your day, and you will find that as you go, you'll notice more things happening to be grateful for. The kindness of a stranger, an uplifting phone call from a friend, a courteous driver lets you out of a parking-lot onto a busy road.

Gratitude sends a powerful message into the universe from your heart. It tells the universe that you are open to receive goodness. When you are in a grateful state of mind and you will find that more things happen to be grateful for. Little by little you are changing your life.

...


I've been in my share of less than desirable situations. I feel almost as though each has a critical lesson that needs to be learned before I can move on, and in the end it always comes down to Gratitude. Homeless, jobless, stuck and alone... all of these situations have come up one by one or all at once since I decided to uproot my life and move west. And in each situation, it took arriving at my wit's end before I'd take a moment to 'count my blessings'. And it was only then that things would begin to change.

My current struggle has been a financial one. I've always been pretty keen and on top of my finances, even when homeless, jobless or traveling. This whole being rooted and learning a trade thing has been an adventure in itself. [Un]fortunately, I had to learn some things the hard way. I was subbing contracts through a company for work, which worked out really well for me. I could make my own schedule, work at my own pace and bid a decent price for the job.

Only problem is, it wasn't always easy to get paid. Having several month long periods of next to no money coming in, and only getting paid tiny portions when it did come, forced me to borrow with lots of interest. Until this year I've always had immaculate credit. That's gone pretty much down the tubes. My bills were always late, I was lucky if I can pay my already cheap rent on time. Something had to change.

I had to make it stop. I had to quit, and hope for the best. I started calling other contractors and leaving messages. Many of these contractors had asked us to do metal in the past, so I figured what's the harm in asking. I listed all of the skills I've picked up this past year, and all that I've learned and just felt so thankful to have all of these things out of the shitty situation. Learning what to do when we really have to improvise opened up my mind to new ways of doing things that I never would have learned in a less chaotic environment. Plus I've become super frugal. Even more so.

When I began to think about what might change if I have to quit my job, I was running through my mind all the things that I was grateful for amidst the shitty situation. I LOVE my team. We're a team of 3, myself and my partner and our friend, the 'muscle'. We work well together, we make it fun, our skill sets and abilities complement each other, and we Get Shit Done. I didn't want to lose that. Plus the builder that we get our contracts from is amazing. And the team of other trades we're always working with, they're great! Everyone smiles and shares, and helps one another out. I feel very lucky to have had a work environment like that. At the end of the day I could still say, "I love my job".

The day I started looking was the same day that company got fired by the builder. They never finished their end of the jobs on time, and delayed our materials which slowed us down on our timeline, and our pay! Persistence paid off, and we found another company to scoop us ALL up together, and right away... and even keep us on the same job site for the same big boss. Only now I'm the 'boss', I pick the contracts and the price, AND the companies we work through depending on the locations. And.. we actually get paid! After a year of struggling [and learning some harsh lessons], it's finally starting to pay off. Woohooo! It's going to take me a while to get caught up here, but I finally see the light!

...

No matter the shit storm I occasionally walk into, I know there's something going on worth celebrating. I do my best to smile at the positives. It might have been a huge pain in the ass to be working two jobs while sleeping outside, but it was kind of neat that I'd roll back to the forest every night and light a fire and watch the stars. Eventually, I found a Home. It sucks big time that I've gotten into a hell of a financial mess, but I learned a lot about homesteading and reducing my cost of living in the midst of it, and I'm very thankful for that. Once I put it all together, I create a better situation. Shit might suck for a minute, but I do my best to always find the light.

I began writing this series because of the reactions I get regarding my never-boring, always changing, unpredictable life that has allowed me to essentially 'live the dream'. I so happen to believe that there is a lot more than 'luck' or 'fate' involved. It's about intention, and using intuition. It involves speaking to- and listening to the universe, my environment, my mind and my heart. I have no science to back my experience with, although I'm sure it's out there.. I just want to share my experience as it is. This is 'how' I've managed to 'Live the Dream'.

Living life 'off the cuff' isn't always sunshine and rainbows, and I've had manage my anxiety to allow myself to continue living this lifestyle. I learn something new- and fall in love with every day. I've learned something that has allowed me the freedom to carve my own path in my moment of existence.. to Love My Fucking Life!

Thoughts become reality series

ta for now.. thanks for reading!

xo