time to fly.

 
eleven hours from now i'll be at the airport. i wasn't really expecting to be going home any time soon. the circumstances i'm still having a hard time believing. the loss of such an amazing friend, father, brother to so many.. and husband to an equally amazing, loving wife. the two of them are one of a kind. i guess it was his time to fly. so i'm flying home to say goodbye.


or see ya later..

i'm at a loss for words really. what can i say? there's not enough words, or the right ones.. he was a gentle hearted fella with a warrior spirit. his love for life and his kids and his wife was always apparent and abundant. more than just a give you the shirt off his back kinda guy, the help you move with his minivan in a heartbeat kinda man [even if he could barely move himself].. he truly was a brother and a good friend to many hearts.

i'm often reminded of a conversation we had a good many years ago. i was telling him about how frequent and crazy vivid my deja vu experiences are. and how on the odd occasion i'd know something already that i could have never known before that deja vu moment. i asked him what it meant. i knew he'd have the kind of answer i was looking for.


he: so basically, those moments are significant somehow. a sort of sign that you're on the right path.
me: even when shit's fucked up?
he: *chuckles* even when shit's fucked up. i hate to say the old cliche, 'everything happens for a reason' but..
me: everything happens in it's time.
he: exactly.


i had a really strange and fleeting deja vu moment while talking with a friend about the garden and when i realized it, i recited the above conversation. i found out about an hour later he was gone.

so many incredible people have been taken from us in the past short span. it's hard to try and find the reason, or believe it was their time. but we are bluntly reminded not to take our days for granted. to love and live like any one of 'em could be our last. celebrate the small things. don't sweat the big ones. smile. have cake for breakfast every once in a while. enjoy all the good stuff this crazy life is made of.

rest easy papa Clay. we're gonna miss you man. we already do.
lots of love.

xo

thank you to everyone who has extended a hand to get me home. thank you to all the kind folks who have sent funds to help support his family and take care of things in this time of incredible loss. your kindness is a blessing.